Health...of the Weighty Variety

My husband and I decided over Christmas that we would try to eat better and be more diligent about regular exercise this year.

I am really, really proud of our results thus far.

On January 1^st I weighed in at 171.2 lbs.  The ‘healthy’ range for my height (I’m 5’10”) tops off at around 174, so this was alarming to me.  For the first couple months, I simply counted calories and did my best to consume no more than 1500/day.  This helped me lose a few pounds, but nothing to write home about.  I knew I needed to exercise; specifically, I needed to start doing a workout DVD in my living room.  I HATE working out in my living room, but with no money for a gym membership (and no gyms within 15 miles of us) no room or money for a treadmill, and the fact that it was the end of February and we live in the upper Midwest (meaning I couldn’t run or walk outside due to the cold and ice), I gritted my teeth and starting doing the Power90 workouts by Beachbody.  (This is the slightly older and easier version of P90X).

Roughly 12 weeks later, I am amazed.  I feel so firm, toned, and strong, compared to my previous flabby softness.  I can see muscles defined in places I didn’t know muscles existed.  I can do 10 ‘real’ push-ups and another 40 “girl” push-ups in one workout. 

Even with all this new muscle (which weighs more than fat) I weighed in at 160.2 this morning – exactly 11 lbs. lost!  I am hoping to reach 150 by the end of 2012.

Praise the Lord for granting me the disciple and strength to get this far.  In Him I can do ALL THINGS!

A little organization project...

The school year (read: my job) ended on the 18th, so I am just beginning to experience three full months of no work duties.

Side Note: This is a little unsettling to me.  I tried to trace back to the last time I had an entire summer off - no school, no job - and I think it comes down to the summer between 5th and 6th grade.  Right after sixth grade I started baby-sitting approximately 24 hours per week during the summer, so it's been 16 years!

Anyways, with this blessing of time, I have no excuse for a messy house :)  I finally tackled our hallway "closet" (it's really just a built-in cabinet and drawers) today.  This built-in stores mailing supplies, board games, and gift wrap supplies.

 Clearly, the gift bags and tissue paper are the problem here.  I pulled everything out and laid it on our guest bed as I sorted, folded, and tossed.  Then I put everything back in an orderly fashion.

Here is the end result:

The games stayed untouched on the bottom.  The next shelf up became mailing supplies and spare small boxes that can re re-used.  The third shelf has a gift bag containing non-Christmas gift bags, and a paper bag with folded tissue paper that has been organized in rainbow order :).  The top shelf holds Christmas gift bags, a grocery bag of bows and ribbons, and Christmas cards that we bought on clearance in January.  The empty product boxes that were on the top shelf (things that I want to toss, but my husband feels we should keep) were moved to the very top cabinet.

It's a big improvement, right?  I'm proud of my work!

Encouragement

I needed some encouragement regarding our infertility today, and thought I should share these links with you all.  I have these bookmarked and refer to them often when the enormity of our infertility seems like too much.

Tears and Hope: The Infertility Awareness Project Beautiful video designed to raise awareness about infertility. I haven't done the whole testing/diagnostics aspect, but I can relate to the rest of what the video mentions.  The music is so beautiful.

Seasons of Life My favorite.  I found this on an adoption blog for waiting families over a year ago.  I couldn't sleep because our inability to conceive was weighing on me, and I was just plain hurting.  This was what I needed to hear.

I may forget, but luckily He never does Resolving infertility comes at a cost. This article is great and putting it all in perspective.

Blessings.  You are not alone.

Mother's Day for the Infertile

My heart goes out to any other ladies struggling with infertility on this day. 

It stings a little, but I am thanking and praising God for the strength He is giving me.  I am doing so much better on Mother’s Day today than I was just two or three years ago.  In fact, it was three years ago that I told my husband I wasn’t going to church on Mother’s Day until I was a mom, because it just hurt too much to see all the moms get recognized while I bit my lip and struggled not to burst into tears.  By His grace and strength, I went to church today, and it didn’t really bother me when mothers were acknowledged at the end of the service.

I'd like to close with what a good friend of mine had as her Facebook status this day last year.  She and her husband struggled with infertility as well, adopted, and now have two grown-up daughters:

“Happy mother's day to all the moms, grandmothers, and to all those who long to be a mother.”


This post is linked to Modest Mondays

Heavy Heart

Today my heart is heavy.  We have all but decided that domestic adoption will not be an option for us.  I received an e-mail response to several questions that we’d sent to our agency of choice.  Among those questions was our concern about only wanting a closed or extremely limited contact adoption.  Their reply was pretty clear:  That would severely limit our chances of ever being chosen by a birthmother.

We were just $1,800 short of what that particular agency charged for domestic infant adoptions, and now we will need almost double for an international.

I am trying so hard to see the good in this.  We are blessed.  We are incredibly blessed that we are even able to consider an international adoption, finance-wise.  It is a blessing that we found this out now and not after already having invested money in a domestic homestudy.  I am blessed to be closer to realizing the dream that God laid on my heart when I was 16 to become a mom to internationally adopted children (I have cousins who were adopted internationally at that point in my life and it impacted me tremendously).

However, it still hurts.  It’s hard to think about enduring another two to three years of working outside the home to save up a lot more money (my hours are decreasing next year and we need to start saving for our next car, so we won’t be able to save as much as we did this year).  The very real possibility that I may be in my thirties before I can call myself a mom, stings.  It saddens me greatly that I will most likely be limited to one child due to the enormous cost of international adoptions.

It is difficult and painful, but I am trying to trust that God’s plan for me is better than the one I imagine for myself.

I have memorized this verse of the hymn “All Depends on Our Possessing” from the hymnal “Christian Worship: A Lutheran Hymnal.”  These words are so fitting for maintaining faith during a trial like infertility:

“Well He knows what best to grant me

All the longing hopes that haunt me

Joy and sorrow have their day

I shall doubt His wisdom never

As God wills, so be it ever

I to Him commit my way.”

-Andachtige Haus-Kirche, Nurnberg

Scriptures and Hymns for Holy Week

Maunday Thursday:

"Grant that we worthily receive
Thy Supper, Lord, our Savior
And truly grieving o'er our sins
May prove by our behavior
That we are thankful for Thy grace
And day by day may run our race
With holiness increasing."


Good Friday:


"Calv'ry's mournful mountain climb, There, adoring at His feet, Mark that miracle of time, God's own sacrifice complete! "It is finished!" hear Him cry; Learn of Jesus Christ to die." CW 104 v. 3

"But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8

"But He was pierced for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities, the punishment that brought us peace was upon Him - and by His wounds, we are healed." Isaiah 53:5


Easter:


"The strife is o'er, the battle done;
Now is the victor's triumph won;
Now be the song of praise begun, Alleluia!

Lord, by the stripes which wounded You
From death's sting free your Your servants, too,
That we may live and sing to You. Alleluia!"

More About Me...

I thought this looked like fun:

10 years ago….I was 16 and a junior in high school.  That was my best year of high school.

5 years ago…. I had been married for just 23 days!  We were temporarily living with my in-laws and about to start our final semesters of undergrad.

1 year ago….We were living in a coastal town in the tropical South Atlantic region.  My husband was interning as a student pastor and I was working part-time at the church’s preschool as an assistant teacher.

Yesterday…I worked at school all day, came home, and did some baking while hubby was doing a home visit.

Today…is Friday and I have a snow day due to six inches of snow overnight and negative wind chills!  I’ve spent it cleaning and shoveling.

5 snacks I enjoy:
Pineapple

Cheesy white corn chips and salsa

Archer Farms’ Dark Chocolate Hazelnut Bites (my latest favorite!)

Tortilla with melted cheese and sour cream

Homemade peanut butter snack bars

5 things I’d do with $100,000,000:
-Adopt between two and six children, internationally, over the space of several years

-Take a nice vacation with my husband to a warm place in January or February

-Give 15% to the work of our church body

-Buy some things we’d like to have for our home: a snowblower, a fireplace, a dishwasher, finish the upstairs bedroom to make it usable

-Put the rest in our retirement plan(s)

5 places I’d like to visit for awhile:
-Anywhere to adopt!

-St. Croix (in the Virgin Islands)

-Vero Beach, FL

-Boise, ID

-Somewhere I haven’t been…maybe Colorado or Montana.

5 bad habits I have:
–Being too hard on myself
-Thinking that our situation is the worst while it actually never is

-Expecting too much, too soon

-Longing for what I don’t have rather than being thankful for my blessings

-Getting mad at God for not giving us any children – this is the worst one.

5 things I like doing:
-Going somewhere a couple hours away to window-shop and walk at a good mall

-Playing board games with my husband

-Singing

-Playing piano

-Reading a good book

5 biggest joys at the moment:
My Lord and my God
My husband
Living in the Midwest

Being able to save for an adoption

My home